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WHAT I MISS...




"What happiness?  Who can enjoy alone, or all enjoying, what contentment find?"

                                             John Milton (1608-1674)

I really can't say how long my own personal "shut down" has been going on, other than a few outdoor socially-distanced dinners with close friends, a weekly mixed doubles tennis match, long walks in our city, a zillion Zoom meetings and, alas, not a few bottles of wine, beer and bourbon!  Not too bad, but, compared to my pre-pandemic life, quite a retreat from business as usual.  My medical training, common sense, and, I'm sorry to say, a fairly large dose of fear, have warranted the relative isolation that I've imposed on myself.

The Hermit

"Opening Up"?  "Phase 3"?  "Indoor dining"? "crowded grocery stores"?...not this guy!  I find my temper on a short leash when I walk past un-masked passersby or a neighbor walks up a bit too close to my face. Even our tennis games require approaching and leaving the court with masks on, not changing sides, and, for a while, not even touching the other teams tennis balls!  Am I being overly obsessive about all this?  We've had around 250 people succumb to the virus in our community.  The Sunday obituaries have noticeably increased in number.  I've been put in the more "vulnerable" grouping just by virtue of my age, despite, fortunately, my excellent health...and I'm beginning to regret it.  Nevertheless, I've been fearfully impressed by the infectivity and pervasiveness of this SARS-CoV-2 virus, not to mention the tremendous amount of damage it can do to one's body and all its working systems.

The SARS-CoV-2 Virus: Ugly is as ugly does!


 So...what am I missing?
Probably the most important to me is the inability to hug my kids.  We're a family that hugs and kisses.  I was not raised that way but I have grasped onto the warmth and reciprocity of this familial style.  I really miss it.  My kids are very concerned about getting my wife and me ill.  I appreciate their concern...but still!

Our son, Marc, finally made it up after almost 4months of isolation in NYC!

I miss dining out with friends in some of my favorite restaurants and having great conversations.  Zoom just doesn't cut it.

One of my favorite restaurants in Sharon Springs, NY, Bistro 204 Main Street


I miss mentoring my 3rd year medical students.  ( My doctor doesn't recommend I go to the hospital at this time).

I miss international travel, discovering new places and visiting family and friends in far off lands.

With family in Cyprus

With old friends in London

I miss inviting friends over to share a nice bottle of wine and cheese.

I miss going into a store and browsing, whether I buy something or not.

I miss taking a stroll without a face mask or stopping to chat with someone I meet.

I miss dancing with my wife to a live band.

Dancing at Home!


I miss...

Looking at this list, I realize these many of these "missings" are privileged, first world activities that I'm really ashamed to admit I miss.  There are so many people out there who struggle to pay their rent, get medical attention, find food security, or, at the very least, to be able to socially distant within their abodes.  So, in reality, I don't have much right to miss anything!  I am thankful for what I have but realize my good fortune in life to be ABLE to miss things of, in reality, little import.  My wife and I are extremely lucky to have children, our weekly tennis game, friends, food, and a residence that we enjoy, not to mention a country home that has allowed us to get away from the maddening crowd.

Unfortunately, our society has many inequities that have not been addressed, economic, educational, nutritional, health care, and many more, often determined by one's race and zip code.  This is the one big lesson, if any, that I have learned from this pandemic.  I take this realization as a gift that, hopefully, will make me a better human being and encourage me to help mitigate these inequities if only in some small way.  I hope my friends and neighbors are learning the same lesson.

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