"The gods to-day stand friendly, that we may,
Lovers in peace, lead on our days to age!"
( "Julius Caesar" by William Shakespeare 1564-1616)
With each passing day, we all age! There is no getting around it. Sure, many of us go to the gym and work out, some wear clothing that makes us appear younger, and some go on-line to find magic tonics and over-the-counter "medications" to make sure our memories remain intact. I must admit, I, too, participate in some of the same schemes...searching for "the impossible dream", that Fountain of Youth, the idea of which has been around since the 5th century, BCE. In 1513, even Ponce de Leon, the first Governor of Puerto Rico traveled to Florida to search for it. Now it's 2020, and people are still going to Florida for pretty much the same reason!
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| The myth of Ponce de Leon searching for the Fountain of Youth |
I, too, exercise three times a week and continue (at least in my 75-year old mind), to play fairly competitive doubles tennis with folks one to two decades my junior. I tackle (albeit rarely completely) the Sunday Times crossword puzzle, and I mentor bright and eager third-year medical students, trying to keep up with the ever-growing body of medical knowledge. Despite all my efforts, I often feel patronized by younger people...doors are held open for me, they help me on with my coat and, just the other day, someone helped me tie my shoe!
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| Check out my...er, Roger's...volley. Great form! |
To be honest, perhaps I am addressing this topic because I am in denial. Perhaps, I even suffer from Peter Pan Syndrome..."I won't grow up..." I've been taking classes recently at an educational center for seniors (Oasis), finding topics that peak my interest, such as the Spanish Civil War. As I sat in class, I looked around and said to myself, "Gee, these people are all old", but the reality is we're probably all around the same age. I try to be competitive by raising my hand and asking smart ass questions to show off my ability to recall history. I, in fact, am an elder person committing ageism! Mea culpa!
My wife and I often discuss ageism over dinner, exchanging our daily experiences with it and how to prove to the world that we're still significant, that our opinions hold water, and how we're not yet ready to walk off into the sunset. Just writing this blog gives me some reassurance that my communication skills can still resonate.
Ageism is defined as stereotyping or discriminating against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. We always seem to be put in the same demographic when it comes to voting, purchasing power, and, unfortunately, naivete'. Scammers have known this for some time, the aging population being a prime target of victimization. "OK, Boomer"!!!...so what does this mean if not some pejorative rally cry and catchphrase against us. (I'm actually a Pre-Boomer, so I shouldn't be too sensitive!) Actually we HAVE lived through an interesting time, have a great deal of experience, and, yes, our opinions do matter. We might not be hip, be familiar with most of the faces or names in People Magazine, use the latest social media platform or speak the most up to date vernacular, but, we're still here...and we matter!
Am I suggesting that a new television show, The Bachelor for Seniors over 65, about to appear within the year, is a victory against ageism? On the contrary, I see it as a diversion for further ridicule. "Look at those old coots making out...". A more sobering thought is, that, whoever wins, the next President of the United States, according to the polls, will most likely be a late septuagenarian. In my humble opinion, the thought of this gives me little solace, inasmuch as I view health issues and mental lapses more likely to occur with such a leader of the Free World. Success will depend on with whom that individual surrounds him- or herself.
My late father-in-law lived to be 89 and lived by his own advice..."Make younger friends, because, as you age, all the friends of your age die!". A sobering thought. One of the bad habits I will admit to is my daily perusal of the obituary column in both my local newspaper and the NY Times. I often breathe a sigh of relief when I have found no familiar names. But, the other criteria I note, are the ages of all the deceased....a distressful sigh when many are younger than I am. In 2012, I chaired my 50th High School Reunion for the Class of 1962, around 550 students in all. Many returned but I decided to have a brief candle lighting ceremony for those who were no longer with us. I took their photos from the yearbook and put them up on posters, their fresh young faces frozen in time, a remembrance of them as they they were... Sorry, I didn't mean to write a morbid blog but, you get the message.
I've become a proponent of "aging in place". To me, senior communities do not allow one to interact with younger generations. Those of you in senior living might argue with me and say life has never been better. But if I can continue to socialize with younger people, remain in my home, have convenient services, quality health care, grocery stores, pharmacies, cinemas and concert halls, and a walkable neighborhood, then I will be a happy camper.
So...while we might have some aches in our joints, I advise my generational compatriots to hang in there and keep abreast of what's happening in the world, and speak your mind! Stay active, both physically and mentally. Follow your passion and let people know you're still around and you're not done by any means. If you feel discriminated against because of your age, let people know. The psychologist, Erik Erickson argued that the Western fear of aging keeps us from living full lives. He wrote, "Lacking a culturally viable ideal of old age, our civilization does not really harbor a concept of the whole of life."
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