My Lifelong Childhood

NEW FRIENDSHIPS AND PLACES

"You're my friend_____What a thing friendship is, world without end!"

Robert Browning (1812-1889)

When you're a foreigner, living in a strange place, it is not always so easy to be accepted into homes or friendships. Such was the case, living in an apartment in Ixelles with some wonderful exceptions. Our neighbors below us were a warm and lovely couple with a great sense of humor. Unfortunately, Josanne became ill with kidney disease during pregnancy and passed away. I think it was our first and, fortunately, only Belgian funeral.
One day, I was outside and something in the trash bin outside the butcher shop next door caught my eye. It was a group of discarded cordial glasses, made from attractive colored glass. The woman who lived above the shop noticed me looking and I inquired if she had tossed them out and, when she answered affirmatively, I told her I admired them and she quickly offered them to me.

Mme Cauchie's cordial glasses still serve us well today!

This was Madame Raymonde Cauchie who was to become a friend of ours for many years to come. She was a seamstress whose husband, Fernand, worked in facilities, doing maintenance at the University, and parents of Doris and Andre. She was a very special seamstress "de haute couture".... her work was well-known within and outside of Belgium. The royal family of Morocco would fly her down to make the bridal gowns for their family for all their weddings. We watched her kids grow up and get married and, each time we returned to Belgium, tried to pay them a visit. We visited with them as well when they were on Long Island, visiting American cousins. They have both passed on now but, the last time we saw them was around 20 years ago when we visited Belgium with our 12-year-old daughter, Brooke. The Cauchies spoke no English, at least that's what we thought. Mme. Cauchie spoke fluent English but never let on! They invited the three of us to their home for lunch and pulled their best champagne out of the cellar to celebrate our visit. Towards the end of lunch, Brooke, not quite understanding our conversation, was sprawled on the couch looking like the drunken horse in "Cat Ballou"...apparently, Fernand had kept refilling her glass with his treasured bubbly, unaware to us! Another memorable moment.

Suzanne's cousin Dave and Irene announced their upcoming marriage which was to be in Little Waltham, near Chelmsford, on the East coast of England. We were honored to represent David's family. I had never been to England before. In fact, outside of Canada, Belgium, Luxembourg and the Netherlands, I had never been in any other countries. As the big weekend approached, David invited us to ride along with them but, we'd have to ride in the little jump seat of his Porsche. He had made reservations on the new Hovercraft that crossed the English Channel from Calais, in France (yes, add another country!). As we pulled up to the gate to get on the vessel, we were informed it was full and we'd have to wait until the next day. We spent the night in a fleabag hotel of dubious reputation in Calais, full of sailors and women of the night. We finally got to Little Waltham, having had to settle for the Channel car ferry, on a very cold day. Their wedding was beautiful, in an old Norman stone church (with no heat), Irene the radiant bride and David sparkling in his Army officer dress blues.

The church at Little Waltham, Essex

Irene's family was delightful, Trixie, her mother, Norman, her dad, a retired police constable, and sister Heather who had come over from Liverpool for the occasion. We were also present for the birth of their first child, Karen, in the military hospital in Brussels. Over the years, David went on to serve in Viet Nam, finally settling down in Dallas and El Paso where he had a very successful career in commercial real estate and was an avid sailor. They had another daughter, Allison, and Karen grew up to be a diplomat with a long career in Africa and Europe. Unfortunately, David passed away much too early a few years ago and we remain in touch with Irene who has helped me immensely with tracing my family tree.

During that same trip to England, the first of many, another new friendship popped up. My mother's sister-in-law, Ruth Sperber, had been to England a few years before and knew her Aunt and Uncle and their family still lived in the greater London area, and, in particular, Southgate, for those of you who know all the stops on the Piccadilly Tube line. She started by walking around a neighborhood and stopped a postman to inquire if he knew the whereabouts of a Shaw family. Indeed he did and, in no time at all, they were in the home of her cousin, Martin Shaw and his wife, Sheila. And so, Suzanne and I visited them as well during that first visit. They had three little boys, all quite different from each other, who took an instant liking to Suzanne!

Suzanne on our first of many trips to England

Martin and Sheila suggested I have my photo taken on Harley Street where all the medical consultants have their offices. Me and their middle son, Brian, who recently turned 59!!!

From that visit, came many more, not only to their home but ours in Belgium and the United States as well as travels with them to New England, eastern Canada, Phoenix, the National Parks of Arizona and Utah, Washington, DC and Las Vegas over the past 50 years! We've attended their son's Bar Mitzvah Celebration and one of their weddings and they've braved Upstate New York snow storms to attend our events. Through them, we've certainly gotten to know England as what, sometimes feels like a second home with their warm welcomes. As recently as last week, they face-timed us on a Sunday afternoon. Now in their 80's, they continue to travel and enjoy their sons and their families. It's hard to believe that their middle son recently turned 59 as we first met him as an 8 year old boy, now a Solicitor in Brighton. The eldest, Jeremy, spent many years working with the Housing Council and participated in politics, having been the Lord Mayor of a section of London and running for Parliament. The youngest, Danny Shaw, is an investigative reporter on BBC radio and covers many of the big stories coming out of the UK.

Christmas 1969 in Trafalgar Square with the Shaws. From left: Suzanne, Martin (note the flashbulb camera he's holding!), Jeremy, Danny, Brian, Sheila, and me...and, of course, Father Christmas in the middle.

It was a cold and rainy October night in Brussels and it just happened to be my birthday. Suzanne and I decided to splurge and go out to dinner at a more upscale restaurant than the student spaghetti house, La Gueule de Bois, that we were used to. We selected Henri Premiere in the rue Messidor as we had heard they had good steaks and poulet tarragon.

Henri I er, still open today, with its cozy hearth

The place was all but empty except for an attractive couple sitting across the dining room from us. During the course of our meal, we found ourselves listening to them as they were speaking in English and had the same feeling that they were, indeed, reciprocating by listening in on our conversation. A mutual smile broke the ice and we simultaneously suggested we bring our tables together! Again, another 50 year friendship was about to be made. Fred Steinberg was an ex-pat yank from West Orange, NJ working for BASF and his wife, Sue, from Torquay in the south of England was a professional translator. Fred had gone to college at the University of Manchester. He tells the story of playing on their basketball team and, during an away game to play Oxford University, had to go out on the court and face a fellow New Jerseyite, one Bill Bradley who would go on to play for the NY Knicks! They became our closet friends in Belgium and we spent many Sunday mornings in their beautifully rustic cottage in the countryside, drinking wine and reading the Sunday Times. Since leaving Belgium, we have visited them many times in their homes in Crewe, Oxford, and the Lake District as well as their daughter, Anne in Edinburgh. This fortuitous chance meeting that rainy night in Henri I er was a "fork in the road" for Suzanne and myself as I will tell you in the next posting. Stay tuned if you're intrigued!