"...IN THE SPRING A YOUNG MAN'S FANCY LIGHTLY TURNS TO THOUGHTS OF LOVE" Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892)
With hindsight , I now appreciate that tenuous and tender connection between the youthful mind, hormonal influences, seasonal climate change and...romance. I remember in Biology 103-104, studying a paper out of Yale by, no surprise here, a French researcher from Paris, on the photo-sexual reflex in waterfowl! This explained the seasonal breeding habits of ducks and it resonated with me and made the connection with Lord Tennyson's words! After a long and arduous North Country winter, my thoughts turned to romance.
On our college campus, as on many others of that day, there were dating rituals. Having been a college physician, I am aware today of people "hooking up"on campuses, as well as the dangers that come with it with nonconsensual relations, Title IX charges and the "Me, too" movement. Back in the '60's, despite my well-meant nostalgia, those "Mad Men" days were damaging and disrespectful to young women and, perhaps, those dating rituals were actually a protective social more. This is not for me to judge but I do know those days were not the best of times for women. The struggle continues today and I am encouraged to see a brighter horizon for gender equality and empowerment.
Rather shy with the opposite sex, I would gather up enough courage to go to a telephone, a rotary dial one at that, and in a shaky voice, ask a young woman for a date. It was usually to a movie or a hockey game or one of the many concerts on campus by visiting artists. I remember being on the phone once for an hour chatting away before I made the actual ask. The one relief was in the Spring when they would have a "Sadie Hawkins Dance" where the men were asked out by the women!
St. Lawrence was pretty much of a Greek campus and, being a member of a fraternity, Sigma Pi, was a social "advantage" inasmuch as we had house parties, picnics called "Boonies", and barn parties in an old barn in Dekalb Junction! In retrospect, I'm not a really pro-Greek person but I joined to have fun and a sense of "belonging". I probably would have done a lot better academically if I had remained independent.
Part of the ritual, once a couple was dating for awhile and found they liked or loved each, was the offering of your fraternity pin to the young woman of your affections. Mind you, there was always the risk that you would be turned down and rejected. But, upon acceptance of the pin, you were, in fact, "going steady" and were a unique couple.
This sounds, in retrospect, pretty trivial, certainly in comparison to some of the greater problems of the world that could have been addressed at that time. People would come up to you and congratulate you on being "pinned", as news spread via the campus grapevine as well as being published in the university newspaper, The Hill News! I was pinned twice and the notices in the newspaper were actually one year apart. The thing about "pinning" was that there was a succinct understanding that it could very well lead to being engaged to be married. That's a pretty sobering thought when you're 19 years old! But I have to say, the period of being "pinned" was a testing out of each other and whether the couple just liked each other or found true love.
In my own case, the first relationship didn't work out, some of it being mutual and some of it being my mother's dislike of my girlfriend which made things dicey. Don't get me wrong, I was not a momma's boy. In fact, whenever I called home and spoke to my mom and mentioned I had a date coming up, Beatrice would ask me, "Is she Jewish, Sandy?" and, of course, they never were! There were very few Jewish women on campus. When I answered in the negative, she would always say, "Well, Sandy, whatever makes you happy makes me happy." This conversation must have gone on for four years! My first pin mate was an Italian-American Catholic.
In the summer between Junior and Senior year, I was home in the New York City area and was invited by a friend to a party out on Long Island at his girlfriend's house. It was there I met an Australian exchange student who would be in the US until the Fall. I don't know if it was her accent, her long-flowing red hair, or her smile...but I was really taken with her and we dated the rest of the summer. Fall came and I had to return to college, she to Australia. She tried to get me to return to Australia with her and give up my life in the US...tempting, but the road not taken. Who knows, I might have been writing you from Sydney and greeting you with "G'day mate"!
Back in Canton, it was Autumn, with its usual bright red, orange and brown landscape. The "Pi's" were having a party at a gritty bar in the village, "Buck and Red's".
I really wasn't in the mood for dating at that interval so I went "stag", without a date. I remember the moment clearly as I stood there drinking a "Bud" next to another frat brother who was also by himself. In walked Nick Nardullo with an attractive young woman I had never seen before. There was something different about her that I found very appealing in a young Shirley McLaine way! She seemed spunky and walked with assuredness and self-confidence. I asked my friend "Who's that?!!!". "Oh, that's Suzanne Blumenstock". I might have had too many beers at that point but I blurted out "I want to marry her!" I then spent the next month trying to meet her! Little did I know that night that we would be married for over 50 years.
NEXT: "Pinning", Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage!
With hindsight , I now appreciate that tenuous and tender connection between the youthful mind, hormonal influences, seasonal climate change and...romance. I remember in Biology 103-104, studying a paper out of Yale by, no surprise here, a French researcher from Paris, on the photo-sexual reflex in waterfowl! This explained the seasonal breeding habits of ducks and it resonated with me and made the connection with Lord Tennyson's words! After a long and arduous North Country winter, my thoughts turned to romance.
 |
| Spring comes to the campus! |
Rather shy with the opposite sex, I would gather up enough courage to go to a telephone, a rotary dial one at that, and in a shaky voice, ask a young woman for a date. It was usually to a movie or a hockey game or one of the many concerts on campus by visiting artists. I remember being on the phone once for an hour chatting away before I made the actual ask. The one relief was in the Spring when they would have a "Sadie Hawkins Dance" where the men were asked out by the women!
St. Lawrence was pretty much of a Greek campus and, being a member of a fraternity, Sigma Pi, was a social "advantage" inasmuch as we had house parties, picnics called "Boonies", and barn parties in an old barn in Dekalb Junction! In retrospect, I'm not a really pro-Greek person but I joined to have fun and a sense of "belonging". I probably would have done a lot better academically if I had remained independent.
Part of the ritual, once a couple was dating for awhile and found they liked or loved each, was the offering of your fraternity pin to the young woman of your affections. Mind you, there was always the risk that you would be turned down and rejected. But, upon acceptance of the pin, you were, in fact, "going steady" and were a unique couple.
This sounds, in retrospect, pretty trivial, certainly in comparison to some of the greater problems of the world that could have been addressed at that time. People would come up to you and congratulate you on being "pinned", as news spread via the campus grapevine as well as being published in the university newspaper, The Hill News! I was pinned twice and the notices in the newspaper were actually one year apart. The thing about "pinning" was that there was a succinct understanding that it could very well lead to being engaged to be married. That's a pretty sobering thought when you're 19 years old! But I have to say, the period of being "pinned" was a testing out of each other and whether the couple just liked each other or found true love.
 |
| 1966! |
In my own case, the first relationship didn't work out, some of it being mutual and some of it being my mother's dislike of my girlfriend which made things dicey. Don't get me wrong, I was not a momma's boy. In fact, whenever I called home and spoke to my mom and mentioned I had a date coming up, Beatrice would ask me, "Is she Jewish, Sandy?" and, of course, they never were! There were very few Jewish women on campus. When I answered in the negative, she would always say, "Well, Sandy, whatever makes you happy makes me happy." This conversation must have gone on for four years! My first pin mate was an Italian-American Catholic.
In the summer between Junior and Senior year, I was home in the New York City area and was invited by a friend to a party out on Long Island at his girlfriend's house. It was there I met an Australian exchange student who would be in the US until the Fall. I don't know if it was her accent, her long-flowing red hair, or her smile...but I was really taken with her and we dated the rest of the summer. Fall came and I had to return to college, she to Australia. She tried to get me to return to Australia with her and give up my life in the US...tempting, but the road not taken. Who knows, I might have been writing you from Sydney and greeting you with "G'day mate"!
Back in Canton, it was Autumn, with its usual bright red, orange and brown landscape. The "Pi's" were having a party at a gritty bar in the village, "Buck and Red's".
I really wasn't in the mood for dating at that interval so I went "stag", without a date. I remember the moment clearly as I stood there drinking a "Bud" next to another frat brother who was also by himself. In walked Nick Nardullo with an attractive young woman I had never seen before. There was something different about her that I found very appealing in a young Shirley McLaine way! She seemed spunky and walked with assuredness and self-confidence. I asked my friend "Who's that?!!!". "Oh, that's Suzanne Blumenstock". I might have had too many beers at that point but I blurted out "I want to marry her!" I then spent the next month trying to meet her! Little did I know that night that we would be married for over 50 years.
 |
| Suzanne |
NEXT: "Pinning", Courtship, Engagement, and Marriage!
Love this entry!
ReplyDeleteMe too! So fun to see a photo of where it all began!
ReplyDelete